It’s not often that I talk about my Hubby and I’s relationship on here. However, the other day I was prompted by a question from Redbook Magazine via Facebook.
“If you could describe your marriage in only one word (passionate, evolving, rocky, reliable, etc.), what would it be?”
SOLID. That sums up my marriage.
It hasn’t always been an easy experience, marriage that is. I will admit that there have been about as many ups as there have been downs (and I know that may sound so cliché, but it’s true). But when push comes to shove, we have stood by each other through it all (and we have been through some pretty
horrid rough experiences together).
I had always wanted to get married, until I ended up pregnant out-of-wedlock. Then I wasn’t so crazy on getting married anymore. Not that I loved him any less, but I felt like I would’ve been rushing into something for the wrong reasons. So, we took our time. I accepted his proposal, but we didn’t rush into getting married just for the sake of being married before having our first child. We both considered marriage an extremely serious commitment and wanted to truly be ready for the long haul.
I’ll be honest, there have been times where the thought of calling it quits races through my mind in my most extreme states of desperation for a solution. However, I always come to my senses and realize that giving up is NOT the answer. It’s just… well, GIVING UP. And that’s just not what either of us are about.
I’m sure that I have drove him to similar feelings on more than one occasion.
We may only be 2 1/2 years into our marriage, but I honestly feel at this point that we are strong enough to realize when something is broken in the relationship and needs fixed… and take the action to correct the problem, even if we do make a few mistakes and wrong decisions in the process… but I have faith we will always eventually work through it and come to a solution.
One of the most difficult things that I’ve experienced with marriage has been learning to lean on one another, and not running away from our problems and expecting somebody else (like family or friends) to make us feel better about it. I hate confrontation. So when something was bothering me about our relationship, rather than talk to him and address the issue with him, I’d run and complain or vent about it to my family and friends. I would feel some form of temporary relief, but since I never addressed it with him and expressed how it made me feel… it would happen again. And again. And again. Just irritating me more. And more. And more.
I have since realized that it’s better to be a bit confrontational initially to address something that is bothering you because then it can be discussed and resolved, so that it doesn’t happen again. Who would’ve thought?!
I can’t recall the last time that I have run to complain or vent to family or friends. As difficult as it sometimes is to discuss an issue, which may lead to a bit of conflict… it almost always ends in a resolution and better understanding of each other and how our actions and words affect one another.
So here is to our thus far SOLID marriage… and HOPEFULLY many more wonderful years of it to come!
So now I ask you, what ONE WORD would sum up YOUR marriage? Please share in a lovely comment below because you all know by now how much I enjoy hearing from you!