It’s not often that I talk about my Hubby and I’s relationship on here. However, the other day I was prompted by a question from Redbook Magazine via Facebook.
“If you could describe your marriage in only one word (passionate, evolving, rocky, reliable, etc.), what would it be?”
SOLID. That sums up my marriage.
It hasn’t always been an easy experience, marriage that is. I will admit that there have been about as many ups as there have been downs (and I know that may sound so cliché, but it’s true). But when push comes to shove, we have stood by each other through it all (and we have been through some pretty horrid rough experiences together).
I had always wanted to get married, until I ended up pregnant out-of-wedlock. Then I wasn’t so crazy on getting married anymore. Not that I loved him any less, but I felt like I would’ve been rushing into something for the wrong reasons. So, we took our time. I accepted his proposal, but we didn’t rush into getting married just for the sake of being married before having our first child. We both considered marriage an extremely serious commitment and wanted to truly be ready for the long haul.
I’ll be honest, there have been times where the thought of calling it quits races through my mind in my most extreme states of desperation for a solution. However, I always come to my senses and realize that giving up is NOT the answer. It’s just… well, GIVING UP. And that’s just not what either of us are about.
I’m sure that I have drove him to similar feelings on more than one occasion.
We may only be 2 1/2 years into our marriage, but I honestly feel at this point that we are strong enough to realize when something is broken in the relationship and needs fixed… and take the action to correct the problem, even if we do make a few mistakes and wrong decisions in the process… but I have faith we will always eventually work through it and come to a solution.
One of the most difficult things that I’ve experienced with marriage has been learning to lean on one another, and not running away from our problems and expecting somebody else (like family or friends) to make us feel better about it. I hate confrontation. So when something was bothering me about our relationship, rather than talk to him and address the issue with him, I’d run and complain or vent about it to my family and friends. I would feel some form of temporary relief, but since I never addressed it with him and expressed how it made me feel… it would happen again. And again. And again. Just irritating me more. And more. And more.
I have since realized that it’s better to be a bit confrontational initially to address something that is bothering you because then it can be discussed and resolved, so that it doesn’t happen again. Who would’ve thought?!
I can’t recall the last time that I have run to complain or vent to family or friends. As difficult as it sometimes is to discuss an issue, which may lead to a bit of conflict… it almost always ends in a resolution and better understanding of each other and how our actions and words affect one another.
So here is to our thus far SOLID marriage… and HOPEFULLY many more wonderful years of it to come!
So now I ask you, what ONE WORD would sum up YOUR marriage? Please share in a lovely comment below because you all know by now how much I enjoy hearing from you! 
This is a hard one. because a marriage is a lot of things rolled up into one. So i guess if i had to sum in up into one word it would be Happy. i like to be able to say that i am happily married and its true. every married couple has bad times but its sticking through together all the way. I’m not saying that he doesn’t make me mad, because he does. But at the end of the night i wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. it takes a strong love and commitment to each other and a willingness to make it work. Kudos to all who do!
It’s always wonderful when things are happy in the relationship… and the fact that you realize that you are happy with the marriage, even if things aren’t going in a particularly happy manner that day, is wonderful!
I would call our marriage: generous. There is so much give and take, and the moment you stop WANTING to give is the moment your marriage is in trouble. I wake up early with my husband to make his lunches and fix his coffee because I want to make his life easier before a hard day at work…just as he wants to send me out of the house for an hour or two on his days off so that I can get some downtime for myself…there is no place for greed or selfishness in a marriage. There are two people involved, and you should want to do things for one another just to make them smile!
) Excellent post idea!
I completely agree with you! The moment that your giving is out of expectation for the same thing in return, is the second that things are going to start to crumble.
My word for our marriage would be complimentary. I feel like my husband offers a perspective to our life together that I don’t necessarily have, and I do the same for him. So often he is the rational and patient one which helps me since often I am the worrier or the one going into panic mode when it is simply not necessary.
I LOVE what you said about dealing with problems directly. I used to talk to my mom or friends about my relationship when things were hard, but as you said, eventually found that it wasn’t really productive. I can really relate to what you said about that. Plus, especially once we were engaged and now married, it’s fine for ME to think my husband is acting like a jerk from time to time, but I certainly don’t want someone else thinking that.
Now it feels crucial to me that I build him up to others and save working the yucky stuff out for just he and I. Because when it comes down to it there are exponentially more times I feel proud and lucky to be with him than irritated or ready to give up.
This was such a great post!
It’s always good if the two individuals in a marriage balance each other out! I agree that you don’t want others thinking your Hubby is a jerk… it can cause A LOT of unnecessary tension amongst family and friends!
My word for our Marriage would be Secure. I was just talking to my husband about how so many people we know are calling it quits or already on their second or third marriage and how I can’t imagine being at that point. We drive each other CRAZY some times ..but it never comes to my mind to end our marriage as a solution. I don’t walk around doubting him or our relationship. We are secure in each other..we feel secure about life because we have each other.
That is so wonderful! It’s always good to have that comfort of relying on the other to be there when things get rough… even if its something difficult in the relationship itself! Thanks for sharing!
“Happy.” Not that it always is, but so far I can say we are happily married, and I feel very blessed by him. Chris has always been into settling conflicts right away, where I’ve always wanted to back down. Now I know I need some space when my buttons are pushed to figure out why I’m upset and collect my thoughts. Usually if I can say whats bothing me outloud, and have time to cool off, I avoid saying something hurtful…likewise if he has some space he can avoid saying something he doesnt mean. But alas, I’m so happy he’s super composed in arguments and takes all my emotions (because I can certainly be senistive/emotional at times). If he was emotional too, we’d be much bigger mess!
Amanda.
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God-centered — that might be two words, but I hope it’s one so I can be playing by the rules, lol. Frank and I were looking for that in a person when we were dating and found each other, so it stands to reason that since we have this in common that it also is a major factor in what keeps us so focussed on each other and the marriage. Frank has a degree in counseling, but it’s hard to be objective in your own relationship, and God has really been a help, strength, counselor and guide in Frank and my relationship with each other.
That is wonderful, Becky! I can imagine that its helpful that Frank has a degree in counseling, but understand how it can be difficult to remain completely objective at times in regards to your own relationship!